The Tao of Jenny [entries|archive|friends|userinfo] Jenny [ website | Know when to hold 'em (The Jen and Tom Blog) ] [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ archive | journal archive ]

Perfect stillness, whoa! [Nov. 25th, 2009|08:00 am] [ Tags | buddhism, everyday, meditation, my health, my journey ] [ Emotion | ecstatic ] So, Will had some trouble going to bed last night, so I took over (it's usually Tom's job) and, as I typically do when I'm helping him, I meditated while I waited for him to go to sleep. By some fluke, I hit what I can only call perfect stillness! It was was almost-but-not-quite an out-of-body experience. My body was like living stone, just for a couple of minutes...I had to break out of it because Will was asleep and I needed to put the baby down...but it gave me such a boost I had trouble going to sleep and I'm STILL feeling it this morning! Awesome! And now, like all awesome experiences, I can't wait to have it happen again, even though I suspect it won't be easy to recapture and, of course, I know that trying won't work, so I can only be patient and open. Honestly, though, once was fantastic and even the memory is sustaining. And today is this week's Friday. A trip to the store, just for a few things, will break up the day a bit. I am hopeful that Tom will get sent home early, but I'll make it through regardless. :) link 5 thoughts|Give me input, please!

Conflict resolution, Woohoo, and a Deal! [Nov. 23rd, 2009|07:43 am] [ Tags | bargains, deals, everyday, music, parenting, relationships ] [ Emotion | busy ] Is there anything you always wanted to tell your partner, but were afraid to bring up out of fear of conflict or hurt feelings? Do you think you'll ever have the courage to confront the issue? Nope! I HATE conflict and hurt feelings, of course, but I hate letting things fester even more, and I poke at Tom all the time (including just last night!) to make sure he doesn't let stuff fester either. Last night, our fun was interrupted many times by Finn needing to nurse and we didn't get to sleep till after 11:30. Just as we were going to bed for the final time, I invoked the Gods of Karmic Balance and decreed that Finn would sleep the rest of the night and he DID! Woohoo! *grin* There's an MP3 deal at Amazon...you get $3 credit, if you spend more you'll pay the difference. I got a Schuyler Fisk album that I had on my wishlist for 5.99 instead of 8.99. :) Edit: Score! If you spend more than $5, like I did, you'll get an email for ANOTHER deal...$3 towards a selection of TV episodes. I got 2 classic SNL episodes (the very first ep and one from the second season with Eric Idle) for .98! :) Short week! Woohoo! And we got almost everything done on the list this past weekend. Over the holiday, we're going to take a look at our freezer (the ice/water is malfunctioning, we think, we're having some leaking water), Tom'll sand and round off the edges of the headboard he made for Will last week, and I'll finish going through my magazine backlog, in addition to the usual chores. Send good thoughts that the fridge is something minor! Today, I'll do what I can on the magazine backlog and we'll visit Mom later for a bit. link 4 thoughts|Give me input, please!

Talk to me in 20 years. [Nov. 20th, 2009|08:58 am] [ Tags | everyday, my journey, parenting, questions, writer's block ] [ Emotion | busy ] What is your proudest life accomplishment so far and why? You thought I was gonna say my kids, but they aren't done yet! :P Amusingly, before I saw this, I posted this daily gratitude in my Facebook: Today, I am grateful for self-restraint. I am glad that I have as much discipline as I do, and that I can frequently turn aside from negativity. I will continue to work on my centeredness and compassion every day. In the same vein, although it sounds horribly self-involved, I have to say I'm proudest of how far I have come from the once highly screwed-up person I was. I have gone from a pathetic, desperate, self-hating black hole of need to a relatively together, confident, happy, fulfilled person. It took some crucial realizations and over a decade to get to where it is today, and there will always be improvement to reach for, but I'm DAMN proud of myself. I did it almost entirely on my own, too, because, frankly, I suck at learning things the easy way. *wry* It definitely got easier when I found a support system, and Tom has been a tremendous role model in several ways, but still...yeah...I kicked my demons ASSES. Go, me! :) In other news, we had a GREAT playdate yesterday. I worked my ass off as a mom yesterday, too, and was wiped by the end of the day. Still, I'd gotten a bit lazy and I'm putting forth more effort these days, and that's a good thing. Just have to keep a healthy balance! Realized late yesterday that we only are Tom-less for 3 days next week! Woot! In downer news, Finn is teething again. Last night was UGLY. Somehow, we will cling to sanity and eventually his teeth will be in and the nightmare that is infancy will be over. I WILL miss some of the mega-cuteness that is baby-and-toddler Finian, but not as much as I will be happy to never have to parent a baby or toddler again. :P Still trying to break out of bad parenting patterns and back into good ones. I think I'm finally getting there...sometimes you (okay, I, see above) have to just DO the bad stuff (not THAT bad stuff, of course!) to really appreciate that it doesn't work. (It SO doesn't work!) Back to the positive parenting principles I've always known were the best thing to do anyway. :) Speaking of which, I've got to go help Will deal with some unfortunate consequences. Just a quick note that we're going to see Rick, Kathy and Simon on Saturday, rescheduled from last week. We also have to finish getting our other car seats ready to sell and do some cleaning in the kitchen, leftover from last week, and this week's usual chores. Today, I have to take care of the dishes (yet again) and do the grocery shopping. It'll be a long day, but it could be a good one if I can keep the positive energy flowing. *hopes* :) link 10 thoughts|Give me input, please!

Books, Birds, Fashion/Clothes, Friends [Nov. 18th, 2009|08:29 am] [ Tags | bird oracle, books, clothes, everyday, fashion, finn, friends, help requested, my journey, parenting, reading, teens, tom ] [ Emotion | cheerful ] What (if any) books would you ban from a high school library? Are there certain subjects that you feel are inappropriate for teenagers regardless of literary merit? JESUS H. FUCKING CHRIST NO! Well, that WAS my first response, gotta be honest! Teenager-hood (what an awkward term!) is absolutely the time they SHOULD be encountering all this stuff. When they have guidance. When they are doing (yes, they ARE) the most critical thinking they will do for the next several decades. This is when they are setting their feet on the path they will walk...giant gaps in that path they could fall through? BAD. Also, just generally? NO BANNING BOOKS. Period. *calms breathing, thinks soothing thoughts* Moving on... I do still have to keep recording my life here, since, you know, that's kind of a major part of the gig. Got a bird done! Yay, kingfishers! I am SO CLOSE now that it's starting to breathe down my neck, and I have major excitement bubbling just under the surface. Guess what? *looks around* I'm throwing in a wild card! A joker and a fool...guess! The bat! *squee!* I love this SO. MUCH. :) Okay. Next thing. Wait, also, got an AWESOME deal on an AWESOME reference book last weekend. Bird, the definitive visual guide, from Audubon. Was 50 when it came out, I paid 11. Comes with a CD of birdsong, even. *does that dusting-off-the-knuckles thing* :) Okay, really the next thing now. Um. Oh, yeah. I'm having a bit of a crisis of style. I am 35, so it's probably a good time for one. I've been dressing primarily for Tom for 13 years, and I've no major intention to stop doing that, but I feel that my fashion needs to evolve a bit. I'm starting to feel silly in "younger" styled fashions. And I'm realizing that there IS no clothing for my personality type. (What a surprise, what with me being ridiculously unusual. :P) What do I want my clothes to say about me? I am sexy. I am compassionate. I am non-average. That last one is the doozy...I've cloaked myself in normalcy for so long, I don't know how to break out of it. Especially since I still want to blend in at least a little bit. So, if you see clothes that scream JENNY! to you, please point me to them...I will be keeping my own eye out, but I need to build a style to see me through this next phase of my life and I would love a little help from my friends. :) I really love that song, btw. I went a long time not really having the kinds of friends that help...or really any friends at all. That changed, and that's really the biggest news of my adult life, the thing I'd go back and tell younger me if I could. Someday, people will love you as much as you love them. What a tremendous thing that would have been for me to know. :) *hugs her friends* Love you guys! P.S. And Finn slept like crap last night, so I have no idea why the good mood right now! Well, Tom was sweet this morning, which helped. Let's hope this lasts the whole day. Well, we can dream! ;P link 22 thoughts|Give me input, please!

Crud. Writer's Block. [Nov. 13th, 2009|09:54 am] [ Tags | everyday, finn's health, friends, interests, my health, superpowers ] [ Emotion | tired ] Finn has a cold. Kept him, me, and Tom up all night. Bah. Obviously going to have to cancel Rick and Kathy, and I have a sore throat, so I don't think I'm going to escape this cold. Triple Bah. It's Friday. I'll get the grocery shopping done, but anything else (and there's a bit, like the dishes and straightening Finn's room) is up for grabs. I'm gonna start answering Writer's Block questions (and/or using other resources), because I'm tired of the daily grind and I think you all are, too. If you could choose one super-power, what would it be and why? Invisibility. Hands down. It's non-aggressive. It's useful in many ways...getting around/away from danger, free travel, information gathering...and I can't think of a down side, as long as I can control it and can make my clothing and so forth invisible with me. I'd go whole hog and get the "make anyone you are in contact with invisible as well, at will" variety. :) In general, do you find yourself more attracted to people with similar or different interests, life experiences, political beliefs, and religious backgrounds? Do you think having some common interests/goals is essential for a successful relationship? Basically, I want the people I associate with to have certain key things in common with me...a high level of compassion, curiosity, a realistically optimistic mindset, a forward approach to life, inner strength...The compassion is by far the most important thing. I generally do prefer birds of a feather, mostly because people who, in my opinion, truly have the qualities listed tend to BE birds of a feather in most ways. I do believe shared interests/beliefs are important...if you don't have things in common (more, of importance, in common than not, specifically), there's not much to unite you, and the friendship won't last/go beyond a certain level, in my experience, though I'm open to being proven wrong. link 4 thoughts|Give me input, please!

Boring. [Nov. 11th, 2009|07:47 am] [ Tags | accident, everyday, finances ] [ Emotion | busy ] Mortgage will be late two months in a row, but everything else should be on time for a change. We're almost to the catch-up point where everything can get back to being on time. I really need to put together a pain-and-suffering letter for the car accident people. I'm really hoping we get about a paycheck's worth out of them, that would really help. More would be awesome, but I think a paycheck's worth is truly reasonable. We'll ask for double the medical expenses and go from there, though. We're going to visit Rick, Kathy and Simon this Saturday for a bit. Otherwise, it'll be another "small projects" weekend, some cleaning in the kitchen, getting Will's SmartCycle working, organizing the living and Finn's room (if I don't get to that this week), the usual chores, etc. Oh, and the big project of hauling the unsold stuff to Goodwill. (I couldn't get hold of the SA to get a truck, so we gave up and are donating it where we feel good about it anyway.) Moving the shopping to weekdays, unfun as it is for me, has at least given us significantly more do-power on the weekends. At this rate, in a couple of months, we'll be down to allotting time for Tom to work downstairs on finishing the bathroom. If we can get that done this winter, then have the big baby garage sale in the spring, we'll actually be done with all our big to-do stuff. Computer time over! link 5 thoughts|Give me input, please!

Bits and bobs. [Nov. 10th, 2009|11:48 am] [ Tags | bird oracle, everyday, finn's health, music, teeth ] [ Emotion | accomplished ] Finn just had a molar break through, so I've put off calling the doctor on the theory that teething may be the problem more than his stomach. I'll give it a couple of weeks and see where we are. Meanwhile, another long and sleep-deprived night, though at least I did get a decent three-hour stretch. This morning, woke up to see Bon Jovi's new album is the MP3 deal of the day on Amazon! Woot! In more good news, I just finished the Air suit of the bird oracle! Yay! That's two down, two to go. I think it's going to be Water next, and Earth last. Got the dishes (including hand-wash) done and put away already, so I'm really accomplished today. I totally deserve the nap I'll end up fighting hours for. :P Now back to the Mommy job. P.S. Stupid LJ freaked out just as I tried to post, so this is a bit later than I wrote it. On the bright side, I noticed that today is 11/10/09! :) link 3 thoughts|Give me input, please!

Stars and daily blather [Nov. 9th, 2009|11:17 am] [ Tags | everyday, finn's health, playdate, pleiades, stars, woowoo ] [ Emotion | busy ] Still waiting for the star info, if you passed it up thinking someone else would give me the answer. :) This is woowoo research, in case you were wondering. I have always had a fascination/connection with the Pleiades, but I also know it wasn't precisely the Pleiades, but something beyond them. I think it's the star I'm looking for info on, obviously. In more mundane news, Finn had a horrible night last night. I think he needs to go back on Prevacid (he went off about a week ago)...so I'll be calling the doctor today. Bummer. So Tom and I are both short on sleep. Which means it's going to be a "get the boys to bed, do what needs doing, go to sleep" kind of night. At least we had a nice weekend. We got some of the nagging little things off the to-do list, including giving me back counter space in the kitchen, hallelujah. Tonight, Tom needs to prep our extra car seats so we can sell them, because we are short and need the money NOW. *sigh* Anyway, Will's playdate pal came over for a couple of hours on Saturday to play with Will's freshly built (by Tom) box fort with him, and it went well. Yay! Right now, I'm experimenting with just checking on the boys as they play outside. I think they aren't really ready for it, though, so I'm going out permanently soon as I post this. This spate of nice weather is nice, but I admit to kind of looking forward to the "we have to stay inside" thing for a while. It would be different if I could just hang out and get stuff done while they played, but it doesn't work that way yet, though it's getting better. Finn is pretty solid with the stairs already. The boys did go to bed early (thanks in part to sucky napping by Finn, though) twice this weekend, which was awesome and Tom and I took full advantage of it! Ups and downs, pretty much the usual. Time to go be Mommy! link 12 thoughts|Give me input, please!

I am the goddess of soup. [Nov. 6th, 2009|08:39 am] [ Tags | cooking, everyday, recipes, soup ] [ Emotion | amused ] Dear Universe, Really? Soup?! Oooookay. Bemusedly yours, Me I made another awesome soup last night. Now, I know that Wolfgang Puck's Vegetarian Broth as a starting point makes a big difference, but, for goodness' sake, last night I was worried because I was using very Asian ingredients and it's a very American/European style broth, and it STILL came out awesome. Whatever! *laugh* I had bok choy (one bunch) and fresh mint (3/4 ounce package, minus some that were going bad). I added four green onions, two tablespoons of lime juice, two quarts of the broth plus two cups water, some noodles and tada! (I cooked the chopped bok choy stalks and green onion for a long time in the broth and lime juice, then added the greens and mint at the very end, along with the rest of a package of extremely thin rice noodles I had that cook pretty much instantly.) We had French bread for dipping. It was light and refreshing in your mouth with nice crunch from the bok choy and softness from the noodles, and warming and filling in your tummy. :) Today is grocery shopping and a visit to Nana's house to pick up a wand that Will decorated last weekend (which needed its stick inserted when we were there Tuesday) and drop off some dishes and show them pictures of Will and Finn's playdate pals. Both boys woke early...Finn is at the end of a very early morning nap as I type, and I suspect Will will conk out at some point today for a while. Hopefully, it will be early enough that he'll still go to bed at a reasonable hour. :P link 11 thoughts|Give me input, please!

Usual updates. [Nov. 5th, 2009|12:44 pm] [ Tags | cooking, everyday, friendship, playdate ] [ Emotion | tired ] I'm tired, but it was a good playdate again. Yay! Trying to eat lunch now. I have a new watch. It's pretty! My old watch had a huge scratch on it that was getting annoying. I love this new one so much I'm really tempted to buy another one to have on hand for when this one dies, 'cause I already know they aren't making it anymore. Tanya gave me copies of some pics she took of Will and Kate (one includes Maggie), so I'm gonna take those over tomorrow so Mom and Grandma can see what my kids' friends look like. Finn says "Maggie" really well now...sounds like "Mackie". :) Tanya encouraged me to call in the late afternoons if the kids are bored. Awesome, because they are frequently. I may do so today! :P I'm working hard to make sure I don't put any pressure on the relationship, but she's been very encouraging, and I'm optimistic. :) Oh, man, I needed some FOOD! *feels better* Last night I make curried potatoes with spinach. Next time, I'll parboil the potatoes first, but it was still good. I sent the leftovers with Tom for lunch today because I had leftover Chinese from the other night and because my stomach can apparently only handle that dish as a side. (I had to have a burger instead of finishing my whole bowl.) Yesterday, I got the laundry put away, but not the straightening done. And today I'm REALLY tired, so I'll probably spend the afternoon trying to nap. Oh, well. At least the week is going quickly. link 2 thoughts|Give me input, please!

Blah. [Nov. 4th, 2009|08:03 am] [ Tags | everyday, finances, my health, politics ] [ Emotion | blah ] Not a happy morning. Gay marriage voted down in Maine. A weird bad early morning wake-up thing with Finn. A cranky night generally, and I'm tired. I also made the mistake of checking to see what our portion of my D&C was going to be...I figured it would be more than we had left in our FSA account, but OUCH. If we can't raid next year's FSA, we'll have to go on a payment plan we don't really have the budget for. Bah. *insert rant about health care being a right and not a privilege here* I got Will's room cleaned yesterday. Today, I have to put away his laundry (which will be much easier in his cleaned room) and I want to have a go at straightening Finn's room and the toys in the living room. At least giving up on time at the computer makes me a bit more productive. Of course, it also takes away my major source of sanity, but we'll just gloss over that bit. *wry* link 4 thoughts|Give me input, please!

NaNo is getting to me. [Nov. 3rd, 2009|08:45 am] [ Tags | everyday, parenting, writing ] [ Emotion | rushed ] I felt the urge to write fiction! It's been so long since I put my hand to it, I'd be an entirely different writer now, and that might be interesting. I doubt I'll find time now, but maybe next November... I'd also like to write with some depth again, but... Like I said in my voicepost, the kids and the computer aren't very compatible right now. And proof of it is the briefness of this post...*wry* link 4 thoughts|Give me input, please!

Home cookin' [Oct. 29th, 2009|12:34 pm] [ Tags | everyday, my health, playdate, tom, tom's health ] [ Emotion | busy ] So we do this "Wellness" thing through work every year...we get a blood test, they get to harass us (presumably) if we aren't healthy enough, we get a deduction on our part of our insurance premium. This is year two of my participation. My (total) cholesterol, in one year, has gone from 246 to 220. My triglycerides went from 193 to 167 and my LDL from 155 to 138. The numbers are all still high, but only just. And ALL I have done is start cooking more. Go, me! :) In other news, Tanya liked Tom, of course, and appreciates the whole "Will is a clone of his father" factor. *grin* We didn't talk much today, it was a pretty active playdate. Finn is napping now, and Will and I just finished lunch. Now I'm going to try and get some other stuff done before Finn wakes up. :) P.S. In case you are wondering, Tom was perfect in every way. The man is the picture of health! :) link 6 thoughts|Give me input, please!

Books and Buh. [Oct. 28th, 2009|08:17 am] [ Tags | books, everyday, questions, reading ] [ Emotion | blah ] No takers, at least for now, on the Ayn Rand, so I'm reading A Whisper in the Dark by Louisa May Alcott, a B&N collection of her gothic short stories. Appropriate for Halloween, I'm thinking. :) I'll start it today, since I did finish my other book yesterday. There's a new search being launched (see the news comm), and, since my posts are almost all public, I can use it to search my LJ. Woot! I'm drawing a blank...any questions? link 2 thoughts|Give me input, please!

Poor William [Oct. 23rd, 2009|08:38 am] [ Tags | everyday, parenting, will ] [ Emotion | busy ] He had a ROUGH day yesterday, from a playdate with a seriously cranky Kate, a meltdown afterward both from the suckiness of the playdate and the desperate desire for more time to play/more to do, to scared by his brother's injury, to, in the evening, whacking his chin on his bouncy horse and being terrorized by the bathtub drain. (The tub overfilled, and the top drain got some air and bubbles in it and made a weird noise that truly terrified him.) Mommy came to the rescue and all was well, but it was rough for him. Parenting tip from this experience: When a child has an irrational fear, don't tell them there's nothing to fear when there is (kids are AWESOME lie detectors)...tell them what the rational fears are AND how those rational fears can be sensibly and simply avoided/dealt with. Keep it short, sweet, to the point, be confident and know what you're talking about, of course! :) Today HAS to be a better day! And tomorrow is Pumpkinfest (GO AWAY, RAIN!), which should be even better. *hopes* link 6 thoughts|Give me input, please!

Ouch. [Oct. 22nd, 2009|04:55 pm] [ Tags | everyday, finn, finn's health ] [ Emotion | tired ] Finn managed to bite into his tongue this afternoon. Blood pouring out, crying, whole nine yards. It was over fairly quickly, and Mom came over to help soothe him, although it was pretty much all over by the time she got here. Just going to make sure he has a good dose of Tylenol tonight and keep an eye to make sure it doesn't (NOTHEHORROR) get infected. But it should be fine, nurse consulted and there's nothing they can do. Playdate was kind of rough...Kate was In A Mood. Then Will had a kind of "everything getting to him" meltdown afterward, which was not fun. He got over it, though. No idea what I'm doing for dinner other than that potatoes must be involved. In good news, TMI, ( Read more... ) That's all. link 16 thoughts|Give me input, please!

Trying to keep my uterus. [Oct. 16th, 2009|02:52 pm] [ Tags | everyday, finn's health, my health, tom's health, will's health ] [ Emotion | optimistic ] Rest is helping, so I guessed right. Just balanced the checkbook, hope to get some work done on the bird oracle. Tom is doing the grocery shopping with the boys. Contrary to some opinions, I do not enjoy being stuck on my butt, but I'm going to try to make the best of it. Everyone is sick now. Woo. :P Tiger popped up for me today. Hey, Kat, how are you doing? (Probably not reading LJ again. :P) Off to do...something. link 6 thoughts|Give me input, please!

Crikey [Oct. 15th, 2009|09:20 am] [ Tags | everyday, facebook, finn's health, friends, my health, playdate, will's health ] [ Emotion | busy ] Good news, yet with some attached drama, from one friend. Upsetting news from another friend. My uterus is getting VERY cranky at me. Colds for both boys, with accompanying sleep issues for the baby (and thus us), and I can feel it lurking in my throat and nasal passages ready to flare into a full on cold any minute. Playdate canceled, as her little one is sick, too, and the boy promised something alternatively fun I have yet to figure out. Just added several family members to my Facebook account, where I am getting more active (but which will NEVER replace here, no worries), so that's interesting. We went through 3 yogurts this morning, because the baby (with Will's help) took over my first, I prepped another one and forgot about and prepped a third, so ended up eating both. :P Too busy living to write about it much. P.S. I love you guys. :) link 4 thoughts|Give me input, please!

Squee! [Oct. 14th, 2009|07:13 am] [ Tags | boys, business trip, everyday, tom and work ] [ Emotion | ecstatic ] Tom surprised me by coming home last night! Good timing, too, because Finn got Will's cold and FREAKED OUT. I had called Mom and she came (with a freshly flu-vaccinated Kaeli) and talked him down over an hour or so. Apparently, Tom arrived as they were leaving, but I didn't know till the baby woke up an hour or so later...I went to get him and from the darkness of his room came Tom's voice, saying he was here to help, with a laugh under it. SQUEE! So happy. :) So Tom got Finn through the night. (With the stuffy nose, he couldn't nurse well, and Tom is the only person who can walk Finn to sleep.) Fortunately, Finn seems better already this morning, so hopefully it was just the one bad night. I'm sure we're all tired, but I could walk on air right now. :) It's AWESOME to not have had to go through the usual flight-home anxiety session, and to have him home generally, of course. He said he'll try to get out of work a bit early, too, since the one down-side is we don't get the extra time I was expecting due to his previous flight plan (which would have put him home about an hour/hour and a half earlier than a normal workday.) Anyway, Tom is home! The boys are, hopefully, on the mend! link 4 thoughts|Give me input, please!

Better. [Oct. 13th, 2009|04:55 pm] [ Tags | business trip, everyday ] [ Emotion | hopeful ] The day *crosses fingers* appears to have FINALLY stopped sucking. We had a relatively (one injury - Finn fell on the patio and scraped his finger enough to bleed) nice time playing in the backyard, I finished a book, and we're in that late afternoon "over the hump" place. Dinner for the boys in an hour or so, then bedtime. Talked to Tom and he thinks he can come home tomorrow after all, a day earlier than I expected him! *hopes* link 8 thoughts|Give me input, please!

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