Current mood:	loved
Entry tags:	bloom where you are planted, love, relationships, tom, writer's block

Writer's Block: Chemistry test and a deep thought from a friend.

Well, hell, yeah, it has! *laugh* I've learned a lot about the importance of balance and I've learned, most of all, that an "easy" partnership would never have worked for me.
I think the phrasing is awkward on the second question. It's more that we need to fix ourselves as much as possible, know when we are attracted to something in someone that is unhealthy and avoid it, etc. So kind of, but not really. Ultimately, chemistry is chemistry, and if you don't have it, you can't MAKE it happen. This also goes for unrequited love (something I have a LOTLOTLOTLOT of experience with)...don't waste yourself on it. Pursue it, assuming the person is available. If they aren't, or you do and it fails, let it go. You are only hurting yourself...and the REAL matches that are out there for you. Seriously.
That said, chemistry can sneak up on you when you aren't looking, so I do believe in giving everyone a chance. I dated a number of people I was not initially attracted to only to become attracted to them after a few weeks to a month or so. I'd say three months is a pretty typical limit...if you don't feel an attraction by the end of that, the likelihood that you will is pretty infinitesimal. And even a mellow attraction can lead to a very successful relationship if you have a lot of core values in common...in the end, what matters most is that your partner is truly your best friend.
Three to six months is about the length a purely chemistry-based relationship can last without major conflict, I think, assuming full indulgence in said chemistry. If one is spending all one's time making excuses for one's partner by that point, it's a bad scene.
I've learned, though, also, that high chemistry relationships can evolve into full, healthy ones, with the chemistry moving to more of a slow burn with flare-ups from time to time, but the relationship is probably going to be a LOT of work. Still, I wouldn't trade mine for anything. :)

padiwack mentioned the old saw, "Bloom where you're planted", this morning, and it really clicked for me. We are where we are, when we are. We can travel, and sometimes will, but sometimes our choices are limited for various reasons...and life is too short to sit around waiting for things to change.